TRAFFIC BITS

I work in an small office at street level that has windows that face the sidewalk and busy avenue. Every day, three or four times a day, fire trucks wail and ambulances rush down the street, past my window. The police give chase, sirens blaring, and it seems as though the world is coming to a catastrophic end. And this always seems to happen when I am on the phone, in a serious conversation or trying to get a point accross to someone who just isn't getting it.

And I wonder. Where in the heck is the fire? I am beginning to suspect that they are merely going for coffee at the new Starbucks up on Lighthouse. Or maybe the Tuesday five dollar a dozen special on donuts at Red's. There couldn't possibly be THAT much excitement and emergencies in Monterey could there? I feel like Lassie is trying to tell me that Timmie has fallen in the well again, each and every time they go past my office. What is it? Where did they go? And I never read about any sort of siren-worthy news in the paper. Where is the capsized boat? The heart-attack victim at the Aquarium? The overturned vehicle? The doggie trapped in the blazing fire? Where? Where? It's like someone said, "YOU KNOW WHAT?" In a really loud, excited, frantic voice. And when I say, "WHAT?" They just keep on going and don't tell me. It is the audible sucking in of air with the accompanying squeal of danger. The "OH NO!" The "HELP!!!" scream. And then silence. Crickets. Nothing. Well, I'm tired of all this noise. Either get a twitter account and tell me where the heck you are going in such a hurry, call the newspaper and give them a heads up, post something on your city's facebook page... or stop with the sirens. Just go already. It isn't like people won't get out of your way. Heck, they'll even save you a parking space in front of Starbucks. And probably give you free coffee. Just stop interrupting my day with your emergencies that you don't bother telling me about. I'll pull over if I see you in my rearview mirror. You don't have to scare the beejesus out of me to get me out of your way.