CHANGE'LL DO YOU GOOD...

Okay okay. You know the old line, "you can't change anyone else but yourself..." Well - I discovered that you CAN actually.... but the change comes when you change yourself FIRST.

See, here is how it works. This-person-in-my-life-who-shall-remain-nameless is a real piece of work. Bitchy, snappy, yells for no reason, plays the blame game, treats people (and by people, I mean ME) like I am the stupidest cow to walk the face of the earth... she is impatient, unkind, a class-A snob, and frankly, just plain mean.

How in the name of all the is holy am I going to "change" that behavior?

Ahhh... my young friends... by changing how I REACT to her behavior. Yup. When I put my head down and let her bully me - yes, I said bully... she just goes in for the easy kill.

So today, I stood up. I held my head up. I didn't take her rantings and ravings personally. I let her have her say and then defended myself in a calm, cool, collected, and kind manner. I didn't mirror HER behavior. Nope. Nosirreee. I showed her that I was not afraid of her.

She left me alone for the rest of the day.

I really need to do that more often.

Having her in my life is not torture... rather it is my "experiement" into human nature.

She'll start her period tomorrow and everything will be just rosy again.

But if it isn't? I'm going to change me. When I change, others are moved into a different position... and they are going to have to lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way. Because there is NO way we are staying HERE in this mess!!

Ain't life grand?

WHAT I VALUE MOST

I had an epiphany today. I love when that happens. I've noticed it usually comes when the wind is blowing the cobwebs out of my hatless head. I have a dear husband who is always expounding the importance of knowing your CORE VALUES. I've struggled with that... I mean, mine have changed so much over the years, I hardly know if they are CORE values or merely periphial random reactions to whimsy.

But I had an epiphany today. A complexion-clearing, soul-stirring, life-changing ephiphany.

I hate pretentious people. I always have. Ever since I was a little girl and my little girl friends wanted to play dress up. Ugh. High heels and fancy dresses and pretending you're a princess just wasn't my ticket to fun.

This ephiphanical observation is made all the odder when I consider how Disneyland was one of my favorite places to hang out... not only as a child, but as a teenager, young mother, and delighted grandma. But then, I realized that Disneyland invokes yet another CORE value I cherish as well...

But first, back to my epiphany. I really don't like pretensious people. You know, those people who think they are better than everyone else because they drive a such-in-such, or live in a magical castle, or have a bunch of letters after their names. Now, I'm not saying I don't like people who have accomplished these things... as long as they are not doing it to "impress" their peers and use their power to walk all over the little guy. I hate people who USE people and discard them like yesterday's newspaper.

Now that, in and of itself, is not a CORE value. I mean, you have to "value" something right? So, I realized that I value REAL people. People who roll up their sleeves, maybe they even get their hands genuinely dirty, or they are earnestly pursuing their dreams, and do an honest day's wages at whatever their task without cheating, hurting, or embarrassing someone else. I value REAL people who are comfortable in their own skin and don't try to put on "airs" as my momma used to say. I value REAL people who smile when they are happy, cry when they are sad, get angry when an injustice is committed, and move to action to change their world for the better... not only for themselves, but for everyone around them. I value REAL people who respect other people. Who offer a kind word, an encouraging affirmation, a ready hello when met on the street.

And now that I've had that epiphany, I realize that my CORE value when it comes to Disneyland is that I value watching other people have FUN. I never liked watching the screaming kid or the angry parent or the bored teenager at Disneyland. I value FUN. And Disneyland was and always will be to me a place of FUN. I value the FUN of people-watching at the mall just as much (it's considerably cheaper too). I value the FUN of watching kids play at the beach. I value the sheer FUN of riding my bike. So that explains the whole Disneyland dichotomy quite nicely I think.

I have other core values as well. I value my FAMILY. I value their input in my lives. I value being connected to them. I value FAMILY in a way that puts them at the head of the advisor line when I am making decisions. I value the things that bring FAMILY together. Dinners, hikes, trips, vacations... well, maybe not the last one so much if it lasts too long and costs too much money. That could drive anyone nuts. Unless we are vacationing at Disneyland... then that just incorporates a whole 'nuther value into my value now doesn't it?

Anywho - I do have more core values than that... and it is painfully obvious that I don't value berevity... and I have made you wade through this epiphany with me. But I hope that the wading has been REAL. I hope it has been FUN, and I definitely hope that, if you are reading this, you consider yourself part of my FAMILY.

See you at Disneyland!

Remembering....

Today's Simple Pleasures are forever etched in memory... to be brought up again and again, not for the event itself, but for the prodding of the soul that the memory invokes.

An Australian cup of Earl Grey... Australian because I've added milk and honey.... and it reminds me of one foggy morning a long time ago, sipping tea, overlooking the Megalong Valley in the heart of the Blue Mountains. And when I take a sip, I remember the simple pleasure of "being" in that cup of Earl Grey.

A downpour of raindrops the size of my thumb... and watching the birds splash in the puddles when the deluge has ended... I am reminded to wait out the storm and see the joys made available only because of the downpour.

A quiet so deafening that I open my eyes just to make sure I am still in the same place.. and then relishing in that quiet, searching, in every widening circles, to hear something, anything that will ground me and remind me of where I am. Finally hearing the crash of the ocean waves on the shore - a sound I could never hear before because it was drowned out by the goings and comings of everyday life.

The feeling of resolve when I've made my choice - damn the consequences - and I know, in my heart of hearts, that it is the choice that voices my values, regardless of what others may think, say, or do in the aftermath of my announcement. That unencumbered feeling of freedom that makes me think I can fly... the excitement of moving the journey forward - anticipating what is around the next bend - eager to see what else life has to offer because I have finally made a choice.

These are some of my simple pleasures of this day... this moment... I shall treasure them, and remember them when I need them most.

In those times when I forget where I've already been and what I accomplished despite the opposition and negativity that surrounded me at the time.

In those times when I get caught up in the drama and forget that waiting it out will produce pleasure that I will not experience unless I go through the storm.

In those times when I am not anchored and I forget that all I have to do is be still and listen.

In those times when my heart tells me not to give in, not to give up, not to let go of my dignity, my honor, my self-respect.

Remembering.......

My How Time Flies

Wow.. has it been over a year since I last blogged? Surely something amazing has happened? Even something not so amazing but worth writing about? Simple Pleasures explored and enjoyed in the last year include:

Having my granddaughter stay with me this summer was a treat. We taught her about "scromlets" which, in turn, confused the heck out of her mom and dad when she asked for them when she got home!

Going to my oldest daughter's graduation for her MA in SoCal was a proud moment. I actually stood up and yelled, 'THAT'S MY KID!' But I don't think anyone heard me over the elephant horns and confetti poppers.

After two years of living in paradise, we finally went out on the Bay. A whale-watching trip..which seemed anticlimatic. I mean, a fluke? That's what I get to see? A fluke? You could tell we were all excited the first time, but jaded by the 10th time... we kind of all figured that was all we were going to get.

But we did get to go out on a 65' sailing yacht... wow, that was amazing! I'd say relaxing, but you kept having to run to the other side of the boat so you wouldn't fall in the water. But still. I'll do it again. Soon.

Volunteering at the Aquarium has been a highlight... only surpassed by the wonderful 4.3 mile bike ride to the Aquarium. And then the 4.3 miles back. After standing on the concrete tiles for 6 hours.

The Aquarium has opened its "Open Sea" exhibit. The Sun Fish is by far the ugliest fish in the world. But he seems to be a favorite of the crowds. I know more about fish than I ever thought I would, that's for sure!

Volunteering is one of the most satisfying and rewarding thing I've done in a long time. I highly recommend it.

My hubby and I discovered a jazz spot where we can enjoy some REALLY GOOD JAZZ every weekend. Love it!

And I spent two whole days visiting the inside of every major hotel in Monterey. I like to say that I've seen the inside of more hotels than a high-price hooker. But I might be wrong. I don't know any high-price hookers.

Or do I?

I think we met one at the jazz spot. Seriously. She avoided the whole "what do you do for a living" question quite well. Who knows. Maybe she just thought we were being nosy.

Now, it is the first day of school and I am ambivalent about the whole deal. Not sure how I feel. Hence the ambivalence. I think that is the definition of the word.

So. I've found my blog again. I remembered the password. If I can remember it, I'll do it again.

Maybe sooner than 14 months from now.

Who knows?